Rantmeister's Cincinnati Chili

You know, the exchange students may leave our home, but they always take a little something along with them – a longing for some gustatory delight produced in the Rantmeister’s kitchen. Latest case in point: our first exchange student, German Till, caught me on MSN Messenger the other day, prostrated himself (figuratively) on hands and knees and begged for the recipe for Cincinnati Chili.

And being the magnanimous (and modest) person that I am, I agreed to post it on my blog. Please be warned: Anyone shopping the internet for Cincinnati Chili recipes should beware – there are a lot of fakers and pretenders out there, trying to pass off something as Cincinnati Chili from which even a moderately self-respecting Cincinnati dog would turn away.
Some tips:

*Clue 1 – If the recipe calls for you to brown the beef…run away! This person has never been to Cincinnati or savored the spices of Gold Star.

*Clue 2 – If the recipe calls for tomatoes or peppers or includes the word “healthy” in any context, take cover! It ain’t Cincinnati chili, just some would-be west coast gourmand trying to bring nouvelle cuisine to the masses.

*Clue 3 – If it includes the word “quick” in the recipe description, it’s time to find another listing…Cincinnati chili is equal parts alchemy, wizardry and patience. So without further ado:

Cincinnati Chili Recipe (a work in progress)

2 quarts water
3 medium onions (chopped very fine…I use a food processor)
2 small cans tomato paste
1 tsp ground allspice
2 tsp +/- red pepper
3 tsp ground cumin
5 tbsp chili powder
2 oz unsweetened chocolate
3 pounds lean finely ground beef (or venison, which also works well)
6 garlic cloves (chop finely in the food processor)
3 tbsp vinegar
3 bay leaves
1 tsp ground cloves
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp cinnamon
2-3 tsp salt

Bring water to a boil in a large pot…like a pasta pot. Add ground meat. Cook meat until it begins to separate and disperses evenly throughout water. Add remaining ingredients and reduce heat. I like to cover the pot and cook for about 30 minutes over medium low heat, then uncover and simmer for at least an additional 3 hours, stirring occasionally until desired consistency is achieved.

Serve over spaghetti topped with finely shredded cheddar cheese (3-way) and chopped onions (4 way) and/or beans (5 way.) Sprinkle liberally with oyster crackers and enjoy. May also be served with hot dogs (coneys) in the following manner: place hot dog in bun, add line of yellow mustard down bun, fill to overflowing with chili, pile finely shredded cheddar of top of that and then try to eat the whole mess without wearing most of it.