Calling Billy Bob and Bruce!

We are so screwed.

A group of scientists, ex-astronauts and cosmonauts has decided that asteroids are a threat to human existence on Earth (apparently their DVDs of Armageddon and Deep Impact arrived from NetFlix this week.) So instead of dialing up Bruce Willis and Billy Bob Thornton, this brain trust has turned to the world’s last, best hope: the United Nations.

I am not making this up, though I wish I were.

Yes, the United Nations is the perfect basket in which to place all the world’s eggs. Blessed with agenda-driven science, corruption, inefficiency, moral decay and willful blindness, the UN brings a whole host of human attributes to the fight for mankind’s survival. Just to complete the perfect storm, how about making the representative from Zimbabwe, that high-tech titan, the chairman of the “Committee To Save The World From Big Rocks That Fall From The Sky…And Free Palestine.”

I am feeling the love…feeling the safety…nearly ready to burst into a chorus of “We Are The World…”

The Association of Space Explorers, the group of former astronauts and cosmonauts, intends to host a series of workshops this year to flesh out the plan to deflect space rocks and will make a formal proposal to the U.N. in 2009.

I hope the higher-ups at NASA are looking at this, shaking their heads and saying “that’s nice, boys, why don’t you go play with your Spacely Sprockets and decoder rings while Mommy and Daddy fix this little problem.” I hope that NASA’s on the ball because I have a huge problem trusting the future of the Rantmeister clan to a group which has proven itself unable to deal with any problem in this world, let alone in space.