How to win my vote:

A laundry list to gain the political affections (and vote) of the Rantmeister. Maybe I’ll make T-shirts!

I could be a liberal Democrat if:

1. They’d leave my guns alone.
2. They’d quit trying to solve all of society’s ills through legislation.
3. They’d abandon their income-redistribution-through-social-programs and recognize that some peoples’ contributions to society are worth more compensation than others.
4. They’d quit bashing America.
5. They’d quit parading wacky hippy chicks down the streets with giant papier mache heads while expecting us to take them seriously.
6. They’d pay attention to the Constitution.
7. They’d read history, get over the 60s and realize application of military force in a timely manner can avert greater conflict later on.
8. They quit allying themselves with anarchists, communists and socialists.
9. They stick a cork in Howard Dean’s mouth.
10. Ditto Harry Reid, Jimmah Carter, Babs Streisand and Janeane Garofalo.
11. They’d cut the puppet strings the labor unions (particularly teachers) use to control them.
12. They’d drop the Bush is Hitler meme.
13. They use whatever means is necessary to protect Americans.
14. They’d stand for something other than tolerance, which is the absence of a stance.
15. They’d abandon quotas in favor of actually treating everyone equally.

And just to be fair:

I could be a staunch conservative if:

1. They'd drop God from policy consideration and public discourse.
2. They'd act like, well, conservatives when it comes to budgeting.
3. They'd be less beholden to business upon their ascension to office.
4. They'd pay more than lip service to environmental concerns (not to be confused with the Kyoto Accords, an environmentally ineffective income redistribution scheme.)
5. Conservative politicians would drop some of the arrogance which comes from having power and do their job, which means representing their districts.
6. They would protect American domestic business from unfair foreign competition (especially China.)
7. They'd admit that abortion is an unfortunate, but necessary, option.
8. They'd bury creationism and intelligent design in the dustbin of history.
9. They'd make alternative energy a priority.
10. They'd eschew censorship in all forms, including material they don't like.
11. They'd realize flag-burning is free speech.
12. They'd come up with a fair, equitable and comprehensible taxation plan not rife with breaks for their benefactors.
13. They'd stick a cork in the mouth of Tom Delay.
14. They'd quit sidestepping the Social Security issue.
15. They'd remove the roadblocks from stem cell research.