When is a comedy not a comedy?

I missed the President's State of the Union speech last night because I was at rehearsal for the British comedy "Blithe Spirit," to open Feb. 10 at the Geauga Lyric Theater Guild. It's nine days until opening night and my confidence in this production took a huge dip last night.

My wife and I are only in two scenes of the play, and those scenes have been going nicely so I assumed the rest of the play was in similar shape.

WRONG!

This play involves an author who commissions a mystic to perform a seance so he'll be able to use some of her jargon in the book he's writing. The seance calls back the ghost of his first wife, whom only he can see, which complicates things and adds to the fun. The play is page after page of witty, snappy dialogue.

Other than the above-mentioned scenes, the play drags like the anchor of an ocean liner. The male lead could be excused somewhat last night because he was battling the aftereffects of food poisoning. The dead wife and current wife, however, had no clue as to their lines. The BEST thing that happened was when they skipped a page or more of dialogue in a couple places (and that was through the first act and first half of the second act - we didn't stay for the third act.) At least that picked up the dreary pace.

The mystic is another problem. She's playing the part to be believable when it should be played to flamboyant excess. It's the best part of the play - one of the classics of theater - and she's throwing it away. Naturally, the blog-wife and I are perfect in every way as the skeptical doctor and his ditzy wife.

Of course, there is usually some trepidation as opening approaches but things REALLY don't look good this time. The success of the play relies on zippy, snappy dialogue - something that's not forthcoming when actors are unsure of the lines. The current experience is like a 2-1/2 hour wait for an oil change. Fortunately, the blog-wife and I will probably be offstage if and when the train derails during the play's run.